The independent woman is an interesting phenomenon.
The complexity of her confidence and emotional stamina is highly attractive. Some want to be her despite their fears. Some want to learn from her while others want to limit her.
The independent woman has failed to let her experiences define her. She can speak to her past without the tears because she has faced her feelings. She recognizes her flaws.
She doesn’t subscribe to social constructs nor does she fit into any box.
She is her own person with her own thoughts. She is unique. She is confident and respects herself. She is driven by the love she has for herself. She is unapologetically herself.
She knows her ‘why’.
She seems to be a pro at being independent, but she was not always this way. While she embraces her flaws and mistakes there are plenty out there who would be all too happy to share her bad decisions with anyone who will listen, and she won’t stop them.
She is the kind of woman that doesn’t seem to “need” anyone. She seems to be able to not only manage her own problems but that of others. She is heavily relied upon by those around her.
She motivates others with her perseverance.
She inspires others with her words. She attracts many on various levels, but she honors personal boundaries in order to preserve relationships.
It is not the independent type doesn’t need others – we all need others in one fashion or another. But the independent type knows how to make space for others, so they feel wanted. They understand the value of relationships and the boundaries the bind them.
The independent woman doesn’t lack need.
She has needs. This is not to say that she is impersonating her independence. But the independent woman know how to find the grove or momentum to pursue her goals. She has found the light to shine on her path even when the direction is not clear. And when the light is not so bright, she will feel her way through. She has learned enough about herself to know when she needs to rely on herself and when she should rely on others.
The independent woman has a sense of self and has assigned it a specific value.
We all have this sense of self but to love and nurture it is a specific discipline. Most will abuse, neglect, or ignore themselves in order to fit into a box created by others. The independent woman doesn’t have a box and without the box there are no instructions. This can make troubleshooting with her more difficult when times get tough but she just becomes that much more intriguing.
So, what do you do with the independent woman?
How do you help her when you can see she is struggling even if she is not voicing her struggles? Ask her. Ask her the questions you think you know the answer to. While you might know her independence you can still learn her needs. There is a difference.